How to Recover from a Vulnerability Hangover. Part 2.

A vulnerability hangover is the wave of shame, anxiety, or regret you feel after sharing something authentic, emotional, or risky (see Part 1. what is a vulnerability hangover for more information). It typically lasts from a few hours to a few days, and peaks within 24-48 hours as your nervous system processes the emotional exposure. 
 
However long it lasts, you feel “naked”.  You ruminate. You replay the conversation, text, email or post in your head asking “why did I say or write that?” which extends your discomfort. You convince yourself you “overshared” or made a fool of yourself.  You want to hide, delete the post, email or text or avoid the person you were open with. 
 
How to Recover from a Vulnerability Hangover (adapted from Brené Brown)
 
1. Practice Self-Compassion

• Remind yourself that feeling terrible right now does not mean you made a mistake. It is a normal human nervous system response to taking an emotional risk. 
• Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a close friend who just took an emotional and courageous step.  Empathy always cuts shame off by its knees.  If you are not able to offer yourself empathy, share what has happened with a trusted colleague or friend and savour their empathy. Let this anchor you. 

2. Reframe Vulnerability as Courage

• Brené Brown reminds us that vulnerability is not weakness; it is the ultimate measure of courage.
• Even if it feels uncomfortable, remember that being vulnerable with others builds real connection.  As humans, we are wired for connection. 

3. Ground Your Body

• A vulnerability hangover is physically and emotionally exhausting. Prioritise resting in a way that nourishes you and your body. 
• Gently shift your brain out of rumination loops by doing whatever works for you to soothe and calm your nervous system.  This may be taking a walk, doing a gentle hobby, listening to calming music. Whatever works for you.   

4. Let the Feeling Pass

• A vulnerability hangover peaks and fades like a physical wave; the emotions will pass. Be gentle with yourself as you ride the wave and do whatever feels right for you to soothe and calm your nervous system during this time. Try to follow your impulse/ gut feeling as it will guide you in the moment.